Scary Mommy Moment

Well, I had quite the freak out moment last night! After work, I picked up Brendan (my 5 year old) at preschool, as always, and then headed to pick up Adam (my 15 month old) at his babysitter's house. Joe was sick, so I was picking up Adam for him. I got to the house, and it was very quiet. No other parents were there picking up their kids, and gosh does the house look dark? I got Brendan out of the car and we walked up to the door and knocked. Nothing. Rang the doorbell. Nothing. Rang the doorbell again. Nothing. Banged louder on the door as my heart started beating faster. Nothing. OMG, is noone here?! But MY son should still be here. Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang I pounded on the door harder. Waited. Nothing. I could kinda see through the blinds, and there were no lights on. All was quiet. I did not hear any kid noises coming from inside, couldn't see anything but an empty living room. I am FREAKING OUT but trying not to alarm Brendan, who is beginning to get worried on his own. So I ring the doorbell again, and knock again. Still nothing. We walk to the side of the house and peek in the backyard to see if maybe they are playing outside. Not a person in sight. What do I do? I keep thinking this, and keep trying to think what I possibly COULD do? Maybe Joe came and picked up Adam and forgot to tell me he was going to? No, I didn't think so, but maybe. Then I remember that she (babysitter) had told us early on that if an emergency ever happened she would call us to let us know and then meet us at the emergency room at the hospital. OMG, maybe she called after I left my office and didn't reach me, and now she's taken Adam to the emergency room! Or, maybe Joe came and got him. These two thoughts kept going through my mind. These were the only two explanations I could even think of that might be possible. So I bang on the door again in one last attempt. Wait. Nothing. I don't have a cell phone, otherwise I could call to ask Joe if he has Adam. Or call her number and see if anyone picks up the phone? OMG, what if something happened to her and she's passed out unconscious in there. Or what if there was a carbon monoxide leak and they are all dead in there. No, no, I quickly push that thought out of my mind...that's the unthinkable. Okay, Joe probably came to get him, the other kids were already picked up, and the babysitter is out for the evening now. I finally half-convinced myself of this explanation, and put Brendan back in the car and we left. I rushed home, adrenaline pumping, hoping and praying that Joe had Adam, that I would get home and Adam would be playing in the living room. Of course I got behind the SLOWEST drivers the whole way home. It felt like hours. I finally got home and can see Joe walking down the driveway. But wait, where's Adam? It's just Joe. I pull up and yell out the window "Do you have Adam?!" Joe's face drops as he says NO! That was it. I broke down into blubbering tears and couldn't even get out what I was trying to tell him...that Adam wasn't at the babysitter's house...that noone answered the door...that I had to come home without him. We all rushed inside the house, frantic now, and my crying has caused Brendan to start crying "We lost Adam!" "I miss Adam!" he's saying as he's crying. "It's okay Brendan" we're trying to tell him, but wondering ourselves if that's true. I mean, afterall, this was only his 4th day at this new babysitter's...how well do we really know her, not really at all, do we? Finally we find her phone number and Joe calls. Someone answers! Joe tells her that I had been by and noone was there. Then I hear him say, "I'll be there as soon as I can." Babysitter was home, Adam was there. They had been in the back playroom...didn't hear me knocking or anything! How is this possible? I kept thinking. It's then that Joe remembers that she had told him early on, that if we ever don't get an answer at the front door, to come around and there's another door at the back of the house where they can hear us from. Problem is, he never told ME that she said that. He forgot to tell me. We rushed back to her house, and all was fine. Adam was safe and sound, playing and eating graham crackers. I have never been so relieved to see that happy smiling baby face with graham cracker crumbs all over it!