My baby turns 1 today!

Today Adam turned 1 year old. Wow, what a mixed year this has been. It's been hard on me & my stress level has been pushed to the max, but it's also been filled with lots of blessings and I've enjoyed watching Adam grow. His baby smiles and babbles can melt my heart. He is getting cuter every day, and doing more & more. I know he will be grown before I know it, and I will look back & wonder where the time went. Heck, I'm already wondering where the time went this past year! It doesn't seem like it's been that long. I'm really looking forward to watching him grow & develop and becoming more independent and able to do things on his own, but I will also miss these little baby days. Tomorrow we are getting his 1 year photo taken. Tonight we had cake and gave him a couple presents. See a few pictures from tonight here.

October weightloss :)

Now that October is almost over, I'm happy to report that I've lost 10 more lbs in October, bringing my total baby fat lost since January up to 35 lbs :) (this is in addition to the 18 lbs I lost after giving birth to Adam up until January) Adam turns 1 year old TOMORROW, and I still would have liked to have lost 15-20 more lbs by now, but at least it is still coming off (even if it has been ever so SLOWLY! LOL) Hopefully I can shake off those last 15-20 lbs soon! Now let's see if I can keep from eating too much birthday cake this week, Halloween candy next week, and then Brendan's birthday cake the following week! lol

Wise words from FLYlady

FLYlady always has great advice and words to live by, but part of one of her emails from the other day really grabbed me...I felt like she was talking directly to me. These are definitely words that I need to remind myself of every day!!!

"None of us have enough time, yet we all have the same amount. It is time that we quit whining about this and accept that we can't get it all done and just do what we can. Do you understand this? Life is too short to dwell on what doesn't get done. Celebrate what you do every day and start fresh each morning." -Marla, aka FLYlady

Catching up again

We've actually been pretty busy these last several days. Last Saturday we took the boys to get pumpkins and apples at a nearby farm. See a couple pics here. Wouldn't ya know it, Brendan picked the smallest, ugliest pumpkin in the whole patch! LOL That's fine, whatever he wants. We also got 2 larger pumpkins for the porch.

Sunday we went to my step-grandfather's 80th b-day party. After that we were...are you ready for this...KID-FREE FOR 2 DAYS!!! My dad & his wife watched the boys from Sunday night until Tuesday night, and Joe & I took off work Mon & Tues! We tried to get a lot done around the house, but of course as usual I didn't get nearly as much done as I'd hoped. But, we also went out Sunday night for hot wings & beer, and then Monday we went to a movie, Just Like Heaven (it was good!), and then to a place called Grindstone Brewery for their Monday Night buffet w/ crab legs special. Overall, it was a nice break. I wish I could have had one more day though. lol

Now we're in full-swing of the boys' birthdays & party planning. We've decided to do their party at the bowling alley. They offer a fun birthday package of 1 hour bowling (with bumpers) and 1 hour party in the room, all the kids meals are included, and the birthday boy gets a real bowling pin that says Happy Birthday and all the guests can sign it with a permanent marker. They also include invitations, thank you notes, goody bags, all plates, napkins, cups, etc. Pretty good deal, for $9.95 per child. Brendan is excited. We put invitations in the cubbies of all his friends in his preschool class yesterday, and we already have one child coming. We also sent invitations to family and our friends that have kids around Brendan's age. I'm not expecting a lot of people to actually go, but as long as a few kids come, it should be fun!

Adam's 1st birthday is next Wednesday! Even though the party will be for Adam too, we're going to have some cake for him at home on his actual b-day.

And Halloween comes in there too. Brendan is so excited to be the black Power Ranger this year. Adam will be a frog.

Well, after being off for Mon & Tues, I'm swamped here at work, so I better get off the computer & get back to work!

Brendan Acting Up, but Adam is Sleeping Better!

Brendan has been acting up at daycare lately. He's been "written up" by his teacher every day this week so far for various things...
-play-biting his friend while playing Power Rangers (he said he was being the dog Power Ranger- whatever that is?!)
-dumping sand on another kid's head on the playground
-talking back and saying no to his teachers
-not listening during their lessons
-copying his friends (don't all kids do this sometimes?)
-yelling at his teacher when he got in trouble
and the day he didn't do anything "wrong", she wrote him up for kissing his friends too much(?!)

None of the incidents were too serious, but I certainly want to nip it in the bud. I don't understand WHY he's acting up...can't think of anything that's changed at home that would make him act differently. They recently changed teachers in his room at daycare, so maybe he's just testing her? I don't know. She seems to write him up for every little thing. (including for kissing his friends?!) Joe's starting to think the teacher just doesn't like Brendan. I wonder if he's been doing things like this all along and the other teacher just didn't think it was bad enough to write up?
Seeing as it is after-the-fact by the time I pick him up and get home, some things, like time out, for example, for something that happened hours ago doesn't seem appropriate. I always have a talk with him and we talk about why he shouldn't do what he did, and tell him what he needs to do from now on (be nice to his friends and teachers, listen when they sit down for lessons, etc). And he doesn't get any treats or anything like that that night. And then when I drop him off in the morning I remind him to be nice to his friends and teachers and I ask him what he needs to do at lesson time and he says "be quiet and listen, and do what my teacher says". This has worked in the past when he acts up for 1 day, and then he's fine for a long time, but this week it's been something every day!
I'm not sure where to go from here. I guess the next step is to take away toys/priviledges at home.

On a good note, Adam is sleeping SOOO much better! In desperation I moved his crib into the bathroom off our bedroom (it's a big, long bathroom with plenty of room for the crib) because it's still close, but has a DOOR. So now we're in the process of training him to fall asleep on his own (which we SHOULD have been doing since he was born, but we didn't have him in a room that the door could be closed, so we were feeding him a bottle until he fell asleep and then putting him in his crib...sometimes at 9pm he was still awake!). Now, we give him his "night night" bottle, and if he doesn't fall asleep, well, it's still bedtime anyway. I take him into the bathroom, turn on the nightlight and some soothing music and put him in his crib, close the door and walk away. He, of course, cries, but it is only for a few minutes now before he falls asleep. OMG I can't tell you how wonderful this has been!!! Why didn't we do this sooner?! I actually have part of my evening back and don't have to stress over trying to put him to sleep. Now I can focus on Brendan and getting things ready for the next day instead of falling into bed myself as soon as Adam goes to sleep. Now he is in bed by about 7:45pm every night. I can't wait until we can put the addition on our house, which includes a bedroom for Adam, but in the meantime the bathroom will do!

I'm feeling a little better today. Adam didn't get up until 5:30am, so that was better. My dad & his wife are taking the boys on Sunday night and keeping them until Tuesday evening. Joe & I have both arranged to take off work on Mon & Tues. So, we'll get a little break. This was already planned awhile ago, and was supposed to be a time for us to go down to a cabin on the Black River, (as a late anniversary celebration) but the cabin was already reserved. Oh well. We really need the time around house without the boys anyway, so it works out. We both are so looking forward to being able to sleep! lol And we'll take time to go out too, in addition to getting some things done around the house. Can't wait!!!

I think I'm more frustrated with myself than anything. I have so many things that I want to work on to improve myself, and make life more fun like it used to be! I was thinking today that I really need to just start doing things that I enjoy again, somehow find a way. It's fall, and I love fall! Why am I not enjoying it? And I always have to work every Halloween night, but I've been so lucky to be offered by my boss to be off this year!!! I LOVE Halloween!!! And yet I'm about to let Halloween and Fall sneak up on me and go by while I'm having a pity party. So, today on my lunch break I went out to the local garden center and bought 2 big potted mums to put on our porch. I almost got pumpkins too, but decided I want to wait and bring Brendan to pick out his own pumpkins. Maybe seeing those pretty mums on my porch will inspire me to get excited about things. I think I've let little enjoyments go over the years because I knew they weren't important to Joe and that he thinks things that aren't useful are a waste of money. Well, you know what? So what! Why am I letting that stop me from enjoying things I enjoy? *I* think little things that bring me joy *should* be important. So what if he wouldn't choose to do them himself...*I* can choose to do them for me. And I don't mean to sound like I'm blaming Joe here, I'm not, I'm blaming myself for stopping doing things just because he doesn't think they are important. I wasn't intentionally doing it, but I kind-of came to that realization today. I'm going to make a concious effort to do little things that bring me a smile. Why am I waiting for happiness to just fall into my lap? I know better than that. lol

Dragging along

Weekends at home just emotionally drain me sometimes. My boys are not bad kids, they are good...they are just high maintenance. I feel like I never have time to get anything done. I can’t even think straight anymore about what I need to do, or want to do. I’m tired, and I’m cranky. Adam woke up around 2am Fri, Sat, & Sun mornings. We were already exhausted, and I felt physically ill as I got up with Adam. I’ve always been one to feel sick/nauseous if I don’t get enough sleep, ever since I was little. Adam was so tired by about 9:30am, but try as I might, I could not get him to fall asleep. Usually a bottle works like a charm, nope! His crib is in our room (because our house only has 2 bedrooms- ours & Brendan’s), which is a loft, so there’s no door to close or anything, which makes it hard. I tried rocking him, no. I tried another bottle, no. I tried holding him, no. I tried rubbing his back, no. I tried letting him stay up and play, no, too fussy & didn’t want to be put down...but didn’t want to be held either. Ugh!!! Finally, I just put him in his crib and let him cry. Not just cry...scream at the top of his lungs. Since Joe was gone hunting, and I had been up with the kids, I still had not had a shower yet. So, since the shower is right next to our room and I was close by, I took a shower while Adam screamed. I didn’t know what else to do, and thought maybe I’d feel at least a little better after a shower. Finally, he fell asleep.

All day both days of the weekend I spent chasing Adam and trying to meet Brendan’s needs too. Every time I open the refrigerator, Adam is right there trying to climb in. When I shut the door, he cries. Every time I open the dishwasher, here comes Adam, wanting to grab the racks and climb in. When I shut the door, he cries. Every time I open the pantry to get something or throw something away, there’s Adam trying to get in the pantry. When I shut the door, he cries. Then he’s opening all the cabinets, pulling out pots & pans. When I shut the doors, he cries. Then he’s climbing on top of his plastic box. Then he’s pulling out videos, and playing with the stereo/tv/vcr/dvd buttons. Then crash! He’s knocked the top part of the stereo system off and behind the stereo. Then he’s grabbing the cordless phone, chewing on the antenna and pushing buttons (my luck he’s going to dial 911 accidentally one of these times!). Then he’s crawling into the bathroom, wanting to play with the plunger (EWWWW). Take it away, and he cries. Close the door and he cries. I can’t wait any longer to pee, so I run upstairs to use the bathroom as quick as I can, come out, there’s Adam who had crawled all the way up the stairs after me! Yikes! Go downstairs in basement and dig out another baby gate. Put up gate at foot of stairs. Adam immediately gets to work trying to figure out how to climb it. Brendan starts pretending to be a Power Ranger, and keeps kicking the gate. Our house is just laid out really badly for little kids. It’s too open- he can freely go room to room because there aren’t enough walls and doors to close things off. Constantly all day, all weekend went on & on like this. And that’s just Adam...I haven’t even mentioned all the things Brendan wanted/needed taken care of at the same time. Including waking up Adam TWICE. So, when do I do laundry? When do I do dishes? When do I cook? When do I vacuum? When do I pick up papers and stuff that have accumulated? I have a hard time finding time to CLEAN, let alone any time for ME. Is it wrong that I look forward to the work week and dread the weekends?! I need a break. I need sleep. I can’t even think straight.

They say to take care of yourself first, because until you do you can’t take good care of anyone. I totally believe this, heck I’m living proof of it, as I’m just about useless to anyone else right now. But HOW do you take care of your own needs, and WHEN? Joe is tired and worn down too, so we’re not much help to each other either, and can’t easily give each other a break. How do you take time for yourself and meet your own needs without neglecting parental responsibilities? I’m so tired I can’t logically think this through to come up with a solution. I feel like my life is just rushing past and dragging me along behind it.

Dragon Tales Live was great!

Brendan & I really enjoyed our "date night". First I took him to McDonald's and we sat right up at the big fish tank. Then it was on to the Dragon Tales Live show! It was great! Lots of neat backgrounds and lighting. All the little kids in the audience were so cute singing & dancing along too. Brendan thought it was really cool. I bought him a t-shirt and neat flashlight thing at the show. He insisted on wearing his t-shirt all weekend. He's already run out the batteries on the light too. (After getting home, I realized I should have probably gotten Adam a light too, because he was very interested in playing with Brendan's.)

Tastefully Simple, Funeral, and Company coming!

Well, this week is flying by too! I can't believe it's Thursday already. Tonight I'm going to a Tastefully Simple party. I love those. All those yummy samples...mmmmmm...can't wait. Luckily Joe likes their products too, so he won't get upset when I buy some more! lol

Tomorrow I have to take off work for a funeral. My uncle's mother died. No, officially I'm not related to his side of the family, but I definitely knew this woman. Every Thanksgiving since I was little we have gone to my aunt & uncle's house and since they had their other side of the family there too, we grew up with those relatives at Thanksgiving every year too. So, since my mom is insisting that I have to be there, and because I can, I'm going to her funeral. I don't know yet if Joe is going with me or not. He says he will, but really he already had plans to be hunting with his brother. So, I'm not sure.

Speaking of that, we'll have company for the next 5 days! Joe's brother is coming to hunt. He'll arrive tonight and get an early start hunting tomorrow. Then he plans to hunt Sat, Sun and Mon too! So, things will be a little different for the next several days. Not a big deal, I just will have to think of meals & such, and be sure I'm dressed before walking around the house. lol The last 2 years he came several weekends in a row to hunt, but he's never stayed this many days in a row in one stay before. Joe is planning to hunt with him part of the time, but not that entire time. I have plans tonight, & tomorrow night I take Brendan to Dragon Tales Live, so Joe & his brother will be stuck with both boys tonight & Adam tomorrow night. But then I'll be stuck all weekend. lol Okay, I guess I shouldn't say "stuck", I don't mean that I don't want to be w/ the boys! There are several neat fall festivals in the area this weekend, but I don't think I want to attempt that w/ both boys by myself. So, we'll probably just hang out around the house.

In Crableg Heaven!

Well, on a lighter note than my last posting...

Last night Joe & I had our date night. It was Joe's birthday, (and our Anniversary is today). We went to a restaurant called Grindstone Brewery, and boy were we pleasantly surprised to see they had a small buffet set up with crablegs on it! We LOVE crablegs! Even better, the cost was only $5.95 for all-you-can-eat buffet! Holy cow! That is soooooooooo cheap for crablegs!!! We jumped at that. There were also other items such as hot wings, cheese sticks, chili, chips & sauce, and more on the buffet too. They put it out on Monday nights as a Monday Night Football special. We felt like we had won the lottery! LOL I still can't believe that's all they charge for that. We also enjoyed the home-brewed beers they have there.

Tonight for our Anniversary, we actually had already bought some crablegs and had them waiting in the freezer! We didn't know we would have crablegs last night too! lol So, Joe is picking up some steaks and champaigne, and we'll have that with a side of crablegs for dinner tonight! We'll still have the boys there with us of course, but we figured we shouldn't get a babysitter two nights in a row. We also got home too late (and we were too full) to eat Joe's birthday cake last night, so we will have that for dessert tonight. Brendan is really excited about getting to eat Daddy's birthday cake! heehee

Sad news :(

Unfortunately I have received some sad news from my Box Project family (in MS) that I sponsor. She has 2 girls, and back in May she had had a baby boy born prematurely at 24 or 25 weeks. Well, now after 5 months of life, he died on Sept 21. I just got a letter yesterday letting me know.
Awhile ago they took him off the ventilator and put in a trach (sp?), and she (the mom) had gone to a training session at the hospital to learn how to take care of all of his needs, and such, in preparation of him finally coming home, but he had not been released from the hospital just yet. Then he got really sick. She said she had a really overwhelmingly bad feeling for about a week that wouldn't go away. (and this is unusual for her, as she has had a very positive outlook through everything else he's been through so far). She said at first when she had that bad feeling that she prayed and begged for God to spare her child, but when the feeling kept coming back she realized that this was God's way of warning her of what was to come, and so she changed her prayers to asking for whatever was God's will and to "just give me strength to handle it and to be strong for my kids and allow me to accept His will without guilt, anger or regrets". As soon as she came to accept that, she called the hospital and asked to have the minister baptize him, and they did. Then later that very same evening, the hospital called to say that her son had died. So sad.

I feel helpless. There are no words to say that will do any good, I know. I'm sending a sympathy card today anyway though. At least she will know I'm thinking about her & the girls. I had a big box of baby clothes from my boys ready to send her when her baby came home from the hospital. Since she has 2 girls, I knew she didn't have any baby boy clothes. I'm so glad I had not sent it yet, as that would have been hard for her to have to do something with them when he died. I knew he was going to have huge obstacles to overcome in order to make it, but gosh after living for 5 months I thought he was going to make it! She has miscarried a couple/few boys previous to this too. She was so happy to finally have a baby boy that made it to birth, and now she's grieving another loss. *sigh*