Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I'm feeling a little better today. Adam didn't get up until 5:30am, so that was better. My dad & his wife are taking the boys on Sunday night and keeping them until Tuesday evening. Joe & I have both arranged to take off work on Mon & Tues. So, we'll get a little break. This was already planned awhile ago, and was supposed to be a time for us to go down to a cabin on the Black River, (as a late anniversary celebration) but the cabin was already reserved. Oh well. We really need the time around house without the boys anyway, so it works out. We both are so looking forward to being able to sleep! lol And we'll take time to go out too, in addition to getting some things done around the house. Can't wait!!!

I think I'm more frustrated with myself than anything. I have so many things that I want to work on to improve myself, and make life more fun like it used to be! I was thinking today that I really need to just start doing things that I enjoy again, somehow find a way. It's fall, and I love fall! Why am I not enjoying it? And I always have to work every Halloween night, but I've been so lucky to be offered by my boss to be off this year!!! I LOVE Halloween!!! And yet I'm about to let Halloween and Fall sneak up on me and go by while I'm having a pity party. So, today on my lunch break I went out to the local garden center and bought 2 big potted mums to put on our porch. I almost got pumpkins too, but decided I want to wait and bring Brendan to pick out his own pumpkins. Maybe seeing those pretty mums on my porch will inspire me to get excited about things. I think I've let little enjoyments go over the years because I knew they weren't important to Joe and that he thinks things that aren't useful are a waste of money. Well, you know what? So what! Why am I letting that stop me from enjoying things I enjoy? *I* think little things that bring me joy *should* be important. So what if he wouldn't choose to do them himself...*I* can choose to do them for me. And I don't mean to sound like I'm blaming Joe here, I'm not, I'm blaming myself for stopping doing things just because he doesn't think they are important. I wasn't intentionally doing it, but I kind-of came to that realization today. I'm going to make a concious effort to do little things that bring me a smile. Why am I waiting for happiness to just fall into my lap? I know better than that. lol

1 comment:

Carolyn F said...

Take pictures of those mums -- I hope they lifted your spirits!