Friday, January 20, 2006

Am I wrong?

Okay, so in addition to working full-time outside the home, I do about 99.9% of all the cleaning and picking up around the house every day, and about 90% of all the responsibilities & tasks of taking care of the boys. I drive both boys to and from daycare every day. I feed them dinner, give them their baths, and tend to their needs every night. If the baby (okay he's more of a toddler now I guess) wakes up at 3am I get up with him. When the boys wake up on the weekends at 5am, I get up and stay up and let my husband sleep- every weekend. I pay the bills and balance the checkbook. The only "chores" that my husband takes on are mowing the yard (which is only a few months out of the year & yes we have a riding mower) and trash. And I end up doing the trash about 40% of the time for him because I just can't stand it overflowing and can't wait for him to get around to it. (Did I mention that we still had rotten pumpkins on our porch until this past weekend because he said he would take care of it back in November, and I forced myself to wait and not to do it). Not only does he not help with things, but he makes it even harder on me by leaving his clothes laying on the floor, and when he walks in the door, he drops everything he's carrying in the middle of the floor in the living room and leaves them there (his lunch cooler, coat, etc). He frequently leaves his dirty dishes all over the house, used napkins, etc. Any and all papers get left on the kitchen table. Yes, he works full-time, but so do I. (I am getting to a point, keep reading...)

So, yesterday I had a flat tire. Yes I do know how to change a flat tire, and yes I am capable of it. But I still asked if he would change it. He did. No problem. He was going to run it by Wal-Mart to have it replaced on his way home. He didn't. So he said he'd do it today. No problem, I don't mind driving on the spare for a day (it's a real tire, so it's okay). Well, this morning, as I'm rushing to get out the door with both boys, he tells me I need to take my tire into Wal-Mart and drop it off and get it replaced. Ummm...yeah. That's not happening. I remind him that he said he would do it. (after all, it is right along his way to work AND he doesn't have 2 little boys in the car with him! He can drop the tire off on his way to work and pick up on his way home.) He was annoyed by this! Did I miss something here? Yes, of course I *could* do it, but it would be so much easier for him. After everything else that I do on a daily basis, to me this is something that he should do. And I think most guys would volunteer to do this for their wife, wouldn't they? I said, "well, since I do practically everything else, you can do the "guy-type-jobs" when you can...it should be my reward for doing everything else." Am I wrong? Am I asking too much? I just don't understand him sometimes. In my opinion, I shouldn't have to even ask. And he's annoyed with me?

10 comments:

monica said...

Um no. LOLOL. That's wrong. I stay at home and hubby helps where ever needed. He sees me folding, he jumps in on the load and so forth. Your partners.... and being a WORKING MOM IS SOOOO FLIPPIN HARD. You should go out for a couple hours this weekend to a coffee bar and read a book. LOLOl :)

Uisce said...

I'll bet there are things you wish he'd do without being asked, right? (that's how it is around my house) So when you DO ask him to do stuff, he should be glad that you asked and jump at it! No, you're not wrong. And behalf of all men, I apologize for him being one of us. I humbly and deeply apologize.

Carolyn F said...

I'm so with you on this one. However, breathe, get calm, and then talk to Joe about it when you are both calm.

I'd have just taken his car and left him the other one to deal with, but then I'm mean lately.

FrogLegs said...

No, I don't think you're wrong. I think it's the name- as I run into the same thing, and the only difference between us is you have an extra kiddo. Do what Carolyn said-- I've done it, monthly, weekly, sometimes daily. Explain how you see it, allow him to explain how he see's it... normally me going on and on about what I do every day outside of work brings him to reality and he helps a little bit more. If it doesn't work-- run away. Literally, I did that once too. *HUGS*

Bone said...

Well I've never been married, so... But, whenever I've dated girls, I've always looked forward to doing things like car repairs, killing bugs, taking out trash, and other "guy-type" things, as you say. Gotta give them a few reasons to keep me around.

Kimmy said...

Is your husband going to read the comments? If not you need to print them off and post them all over the house. Especially the ones from the MEN!
Of course you're not wrong. Perhaps you need to apply for "Wife-Swap" :p
(Note...I'm a SINGLE mom)
(My word verification is BADBM...now that's hilarious! So fitting with the subject :p)

Courtney said...

Thank you to ALL of you for the comments. It's nice to hear other's thoughts because sometimes I wonder if I'm just crazy and giving him too hard of a time, and getting upset when I shouldn't. This wasn't a big deal, but when little things like this happen it's almost like a slap in the face. But oh well. Life goes on.

Courtney said...

Oh, and no he won't read the comments, as far as I know he doesn't read my blog or know that it exists.

Mike said...

Yeah, I have to agree with the majority of comments here.

Uisce said...

a secret blog? ooOOOoo!! (hee hee, I have one, too!)