Thursday, November 17, 2005

The addition discussion, Adam's fall, and cranky me!

My mood overall has been so much better lately...that is until last night. Ugh! I was really irritated and frustrated from several things, Brendan was testing my patience, Adam was fussy, and well, even though I'm generally a quiet person, for some reason I can't keep my mouth shut when I'm irritated & frustrated! lol So basically I just made everyone else more upset too. Then after the boys were in bed, Joe and I got in a "discussion" about the addition we want to do on our house. I am about to go crazy in our little bitty house with no doors, and nowhere to "get away" ever. Yes, I love having 10 wooded acres, but wow that house is just not meant to have a family of 4 in it...especially not with a little one that can get into everything. Anyway, Joe keeps putting off moving forward, because he's afraid we can't afford it, and a bunch of other fears of his. I say lets take the first few steps of planning, getting some real plans on paper, and get some estimates so we can FIND OUT if we can afford it! We can sit on our butts and daydream about "someday" for the rest of our lives, but if we're going to get it done we have to DO something about it! We need it now...Adam doesn't have a room at all, and he's too young to share with Brendan. Not to mention Brendan's room is too small for 2 kids anyway. Our bedroom has no doors, it's an open loft. The rest of the house is open floor plan, which looks kinda neat, but wow I had no idea how annoying it would be to have no doors to shut, and nowhere to hide! LOL We have a small living room, tiny kitchen, Brendan's small room, tiny laundry room, bathroom, and master bedroom & bath. That's it. That's our whole house. The addition we'd ideally like to do would add: New master bedroom (and our current one would become an office/guest bedroom), laundry room (our current one is really supposed to be an entrance-way), a living room (our current one would become a dining room), and another bedroom for one of the boys (the other boy will be in Brendan's current room). Oh, and a garage. If it turns out that there's no way we can afford the addition, then we need to look at ways to work with our existing conditions, and/or a smaller addition to get us by. But we still have to take the first steps to even find that out!!! I have no doubt that if I had never said another word, that Joe would continue to keep this addition as a "someday" and it would never happen. He admits that that is possibly true, even though he really does want the addition. He's just not the type to jump into things without totally analyzing and agonizing over them and thinking of all the reasons we shouldn't, and how money is too much an issue, and how all the conditions aren't right, etc, etc. Conditions will never be perfect for anything in life, so if he's waiting for that, it's not happening. I've had to push forward on everything we've ever accomplished/done to get anywhere, because he just won't take any leaps of faith on his own. He even admitted that everything in the past that I've pushed for and taken leaps of faith on have always worked out fine. But he was also defensive and taking things personally in our "discussion", so I guess I wasn't being as nice as I could have been. But dang! Nothing ever gets done if I don't keep on it. *sigh*

To add to the frustration, this morning we overslept, and then while I was getting ready, Joe forgot to put up the baby gate on the steps and he went out of the room for a minute...Adam climbed up the steps and I hear a series of bangs and bumps, followed by Brendan yelling that Adam fell, and Adam started crying...I ran in there thinking Joe was already in there to find Joe nowhere in sight and Adam had tumbled down from near the top of the steps (according to Brendan, and I believe him since I heard it as Adam tumbled down!) and was upside-down on the next to last step. Scared the crap out of me! I scooped him up and gave him lots of hugs and kisses. Turns out he is perfectly fine, no signs of any injuries or anything, thank goodness! Then as I'm rushing around, already late, I go outside to the car and it is covered in frost. Ugh! Had to stand out in the 16 degrees and try to scrape the windshield while already so late, while Joe sat inside on the couch eating his cereal. Grrrr. My arm is still sore from the flu shot yesterday, and I'm achy all over, tired, cranky, etc. (Gee, can I whine any more? LOL) So this morning I was still not in a good mood. But, I'll get over it.

Not sure I can come up with the 5 things to be happy about today without a lot of thought! lol But I'll try...

5 Things to be Happy About Today
1. I was finally able to get badly-needed groceries on my lunch break today
2. I was able to use 8 coupons on our groceries (not a lot, but better than none!)
3. It's Thursday again, so Survivor is on tonight again
4. I actually did my menu planning for the rest of this week, and next week like I'm supposed to do as part of the FLYlady system.
5. ????

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